I promised last time to give you an exercise that can improve the intimacy in your relationship without any talking at all. And while that is happening, you will both be enjoying a simple, but powerful, form of human connection. It’s the simple hug.
One frequent complaint from women is that they don’t like their partners kissing them or touching them because it “always leads to the expectation of sex.”
One way to stop this habit is to introduce this practice of holding each other in a comfortable, non-sexual hug. Do it standing up wherever you are – in the kitchen, garden, garage, anywhere – and simply holding each other until you feel the stress and pressure leave your body. That’s all – no other agenda and no required connection to any sexual behavior.
At first, the hug may feel uncomfortable as you experience the stress in your and your partner’s body. Try not to let go too soon. If you hang in there, you will reach a point where you feel yourself and/or your partner softening. Try to wait for that moment before you pull away.
I have seen remarkable shifts in relationships when this exercise has been employed. Both partners love the touch and enjoy the warmth of closeness with no agenda.
And, interestingly, it can be the beginning of the road back to passion. Who would have thought it??? Let me know your results. Would love to hear.
Dr. Fran
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